First,
I'd just like to underline that this stuff applies to sleep-deprived
Dads too. I don't want to appear discriminating in any way. But I'm a
Mum, not a Dad ;-).
I
thought I'd be writing this as a Mum of a newborn, but no, it's only
now, with a 6 year old and a very almost 3 year old, that I sit down
to write about sleep deprivation. If you'd told me this a few years
ago (read pre-children era), I would have laughed at you and told you
that my kids, once over the age of 1, would not be waking me up or
keeping me awake at night. Ha! So much for that.
I'm
finding it a lot harder to cope with the middle of the night and
early morning wake ups now, because they're not supposed to be
happening! Or are they?
My
kids should be old enough to know by now that creating a sleep
deprived Mummy-Monster is not a desirable thing to do. At all. That
their life will be more miserable for it. That the Happy-Mummy who
likes playing and doing crafts and baking is absolutely not going to
emerge in those circumstances. Oh no. Mummy-Monster will curl out her
ugly head despite all of Happy-Mummy's efforts to reign her in.
I
guess kids don't really get the concept of "shooting oneself in the foot", do they? They
don't get that a sleep-deprived Mummy-Monster is really not fun to
have around, and so maybe they should keep back from waking
Happy-Mummy up at 2am because “I can't find my car”, or “I'm
thirsty”, or “I just had to poo in the middle of the night”, or
“My foot is really itchy”. And then at 5am because “My hot
water bottle is cold now”, or “I'm absolutely sure there's a
spider in my room”.
Once
they're back in bed and I'm desperately trying to go back to sleep, I try
to remember if I did the same thing to my parents. And seriously, I
don't think I did. I do however remember having bad nightmares and
waking my Dad up in those circumstances. But nightmares are one
exception that I don't mind getting up for. And REAL sickness.
Seriously, I think I was a pretty angelic child as far as sleep was
concerned, once I'd passed the 1 year old stage. But hey, my Mum, who
reads my blog, can correct me on this. Watch the comments section
below!
So
anyway, I've put together a little list of “do nots” and “dos”
of a sleep deprived Mummy-Monster. This list applies not only to my
close family, but anyone else I may enter into any contact with on
that given day (poor souls). I do realise that my list is far from
the expected “Godly Mummy” I strive to be when not
sleep-deprived, but there you are, such is the reality of a
sleep-deprived Mum!
****
1)
do not, under any circumstances, expect me to do anything until I've
had a cup of coffee.
2)
do not, under any circumstances, tell me that there are people worse
off than me out there.
3)
do not, unless you want me to disappear for the rest of the day,
speak loudly or shout or scream.
4)
do not, unless you like living with risk, ask me to do anything above
and beyond my basic responsibilities, which are already way too many.
5)
do not empty more than one toy box. Over the whole day.
6)
do not complain about the food I put in front of you (this one goes
for darling hubby as well).
7)
do not expect me to utter more than 2, maybe 3 sentences in a row.
Rather, do expect me to be very quiet, to nod and shake my head, and
growl in your general direction.
8)
do not ask me how long the kids have been watching TV today as you
can be sure that I'm already feeling very guilty about it.
9)
do not fight.
10)
do not argue.
11)
accept that no means no.
12)
please, please, please, do not whine.
13)
do take me out for a coffee.
14)
do offer to take my child/ren away for an hour.
15)
do offer me a glass of red wine any time from 4.30pm.
16)
please, please, please, do let me sleep tonight if you want
Happy-Mummy back tomorrow!
****
Now,
I really really really want to hear from you if you've somehow
managed to get it into your little ones' heads that it is not a good
idea to wake Happy-Mummy up at night. How do you do it?
But
if you're like me, and you haven't found the magical recipe either, I
really really really want to hear from you too, because then I won't
feel so alone!
Kia
Kaha! Be Strong!
And
do leave me a comment. I just love to hear from my readers.
